I Abandoned My Wife in the Middle of a Lake

I’m ashamed to admit it, but one time I abandoned my wife… alone by herself… in a boat, in one of the most remote lakes on earth.

But to he honest, it was the best way I could help!

Let me explain.

During the pandemic in 2020, life was rough in the Hansen household. My wife had lost her job as a substitute teacher when California schools shut down, and my business was just barely getting off the ground.

With no solid form of income, our bank account was draining faster than water through my fingers. And after months of pounding the pavement and applying for jobs, the first day of school was just weeks away, and we had nothing.

However all that changed when we were on a family vacation at Lake Powell in Southern Utah. Miracle of miracles, a school district called inviting her for an interview. “Can you be here tomorrow?” they asked. Because the lake is as far from civilization as you can get, we asked if they would accept a phone interview instead, and they agreed.

So the next day we fired up the ski boat, and raced between Lake Powell’s famous red rock monoliths, to find one of the few zones of reliable cell reception.

But we weren’t alone.

As we searched for reception, houseboats motored past, heaving waves at us. The heat began to soar, funneling wind through the narrow canyons. And just meters away? Submerged rocks waited to ruin the boat. Or worse.

So there, as we struggled against rocks, boats, and wind is exactly how Nathalie started the biggest job interview of her life. And then it all went to pieces.

First was the noise. Though the idling boat engine kept us in the thin sliver of cell reception, it was also too loud. So she frantically motioned for me to switch off the motor.

Then was the wind. It blew so strong that it created a static sound in her head phones, and so she took a massive beach towel and wrapped it around her head to isolate the sound. She now looked like a Tootsie Roll Pop with sunglasses.

And then came the rocks. With the engine off, the wind, and waves from passing boats were now edging us to the menacing boulders… just meters away!

Which is when I had the brilliant idea to abandon my wife, and jump off the boat.

Yup, you read that correctly.

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You see, in my defense, I did water polo in high school. And if there is something any water polo player can do, its egg beater and tread water for days.

Could I egg-beater the boat back into position? By myself?

There was only one way to find out. And as I couldn’t interrupt my wife’s interview to explain my ridiculous plan, I was just going to do it and ask for forgiveness later.

And so… in the middle of Lake Powell as my wife was battling one of the most stressful moments of her life…

As the wind was making it nearly impossible to hear anything…

And as the boat was rocking towards dangerous boulders…

I jumped overboard. And I’ll never forget the look of complete shock on my wife’s face…

Her flabbers were officially gasted.

Once in the water, I immediately got to work. I muscled against the side of the boat and pumped my legs with all my might. At first, there was no movement. But I kept surging my energy to bend the laws of physics to my will. After a minute or two, the massive weight of the boat began to shift… AWAY from the rocks.

It was working!

“Holy Newtonian Physics Batman!” because once the boat shifted… it drifted… and this object in motion stayed in motion… back to the safety zone. Pretty soon I didn’t have to do anything at all.

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A few minutes later, I heard Nathalie’s interview end, and she immediately yelled, “Christian, what the hell?” and with a look of fury she ran to look over the side of the boat. Even though it was floating serenely, I made sure to at least look like I was working hard so she would get the picture.

Once I pointed to the rocks, everything made sense, and my wife forgave me for jumping ship in the worst moment possible.

What does this have to do with leadership and influence?

In my book, The Influence Mindset, I argue that “Leadership is not the ability to solve problems, but the ability to identify problems no one else can see.”

The thing is, when a team is working together, leadership is not limited to just one person.

I had no idea the engine was creating noise problems… but Nathalie did. I had no idea the wind was distracting her headphones, but Nathalie did. She showed leadership in telling me to turn off the boat, and in wrapping her head with a towel like a lollipop.

She had no idea about the rocks, and the thin line of cell reception. But I did, and I took the insane measures of abandoning ship.

When we work in teams… and in different seasons of life…sometimes we are the ones in the water supporting the boat. And other times we are the ones with the make-it-or-break-it phone call.

That’s because when the goal is absolutely clear… it doesn’t matter who is in the water and who is in the boat.

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When one of your teammates is facing a big moment, how can you be in the water for them? Similarly, when you need to rise to the occasion, who can you ask to be in the water for you?

A few days later, as we were driving back to Los Angeles, we were feeling pretty dejected. It felt like the interview was a failure and we were back to square one. But then, on the freeway in the middle of Las Vegas, my wife got a phone call.

They offered her the job. All our effort had been worth it. And she went on to the next step in her career.

Leadership isn’t about being in charge. It’s about seeing what others can’t, and doing what needs to be done.

Sometimes that means being in the hotseat and making the call.

And sometimes… it means jumping overboard to keep the dream afloat.

Christian

CHRISTIAN HANSEN has gone behind the scenes in some of the biggest organizations in the world to find out the reasons why some people get chosen and why others don’t. As the #1 bestselling and LinkedIn Top Ten ranked author of “The Influence Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting People to Choose You” Christian helps teams and organizations who want to stand out and be the obvious choice. With degrees from Brigham Young University and The London School of Economics, he’s helped thousands of individuals position and sell themselves. A fan of international communication, history, and choral music, he currently lives in Utah with his wife. Reach him at: TheChristianHansen.com