You Are Farther Along Than You Think
Mar 13, 2026
If you could turn back the clock and have a conversation with your former self, what would you say?
That’s what happened to me this week.
At least, sort of.
I was on a flight and found myself sitting next to a reserved young man in his 20’s who was also heading home.
And as we were hurtling in an aluminum tube 30,000 feet in the air, we struck up the kind of honest and surprisingly candid conversation that seems to happen on airplanes. Initially he was quiet, but as I expressed sincere interest in him and his story, his stoic demeanor softened.
Because it turns out he was facing a series of dilemmas.
He’d just ended a long term relationship with a girl he thought was his “forever person”. However some of her choices made it clear that he wasn’t hers.
For several years he’d been working the same job, at the same place, in the same town. But deep down ambition was whispering him to stretch his wings, and fly.
He was in his physical prime. But without a clear purpose, felt as if time and opportunities were slipping through his fingers like water.
And as he wondered what to do, where to go, and who to become…it was clear he grappled with something much much deeper:
Was he enough? Did he have what it takes?
As he spoke, I felt time stop. Because sitting next to me was really… myself.
I suddenly felt transported decades back in time to when I was sitting on the same plane, with the same mid-flight snacks, and staring out the same window over horizons that stretched with intimidating possibilities.
I’d also felt heartbreak.
I’d also felt the quiet pull to broaden my reach.
I’d also felt the nagging doubt that I had it in me at all.
And so in this moment, I began to have a conversation with my former self. But it didn’t go in the direction I anticipated.
I’d always imagined that I’d want to give my former self advice on what do to.
How to do it. Where to go.
Oh and don’t eat that thing on that date with that girl. It’s just not worth it.
But in this moment something entirely different happened.
“Well look how far you’ve come…”
“Look at how your instincts showed you what to do…”
“Notice how you made that decision and it turned out better than you thought.”
Instead of the breaking down the “how”, I felt myself coming back to building up the “who”. And instead of judgement, I felt compassion.
“You are farther along than you think.”
“You have more to offer than you give yourself credit for.”
“You are positioned better, right now, than you ever have been. And your opportunities will only increase.”
As we chatted, his shoulders softened. His furrowed brow relaxed. And instead of anxiously sitting forward, he began to lean back.
Well, as much as you can in row 23.
It was the first time in a long time when he wasn’t pulled down by the judgements of others, and especially from himself.
Which made me wonder…
How often do we make it harder on ourselves? How often do we move our own goal posts? How often do we reserve our harshest judgements and criticisms for ourselves?
And yet, when I was simultaneously looking at both this young man, and at myself, suddenly those criticisms…
and judgements…
and lectures…
all vanished.
And instead, I felt love.
Because that’s what this conversation taught me. When we see in others suffering that we ourselves have felt, we experience the same force that impacts airplanes and human souls alike: a desire to lift.
Give it a try. In the midst of all the noise and stress of the daily grind, what do you think your future self would say to you today?
My guess it wouldn’t be criticism. It would probably sound something like this:
You’re farther along than you think.
You’ve handled more than you realize.
And the opportunities ahead of you are bigger than the doubts behind you.
Enjoy the moment, and be a little more gentle with yourself. You are higher than you think.
But I guess that’s what happens when you look at the world, and yourself, from 30,000 feet.
Christian
CHRISTIAN HANSEN has gone behind the scenes in some of the biggest organizations in the world to find out the reasons why some people get chosen and why others don’t. As the #1 bestselling and LinkedIn Top Ten ranked author of “The Influence Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting People to Choose You” Christian helps teams and organizations who want to stand out and be the obvious choice. With degrees from Brigham Young University and The London School of Economics, he’s helped thousands of individuals position and sell themselves. A fan of international communication, history, and choral music, he currently lives in Utah with his wife. Reach him at: TheChristianHansen.com
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