Hi. My Name is Delusional. What’s Yours?

My failed attempt at being a heroic Dad for 1 day.

The other day I attempted one of the most insane and delusional plans in my life:

To take care of a baby AND get work done from home… all by myself.

It seemed like such a good idea at the start…

As a teacher watching her precious final days of summer slip away, my wife needed to head into school to prep her classroom. As we debated whether or not to bring in a nanny to watch our baby for the day, that’s when the tempting idea first bloomed in my unprepared mind.

What if I watched the baby AND worked from home? It would prove to my wife I had “Man Card” and would earn good husband points.

“I can do it!” I said. “I’ve got it handled.” And images of being a super dad triumphantly summiting a mountain crag with a baby and laptop in tow (a cape waving in the wind, no less) flooded my mind. “I can do it all… I really can.” I told myself.

My wife eyed me with skeptical concern. “You sure?” she asked. Her tone was drenched in doubt.

“Don’t worry about it,” I assured her, “Really, I’ve got it handled.”

Is it just me, or did she actually laugh as she got into her car? I couldn’t tell…

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Well with mom gone, I got to work, surging with optimistic confidence.

I warmed a bottle, and neatly fed, burped, and changed the baby. I even had a towel cleanly draped over my shoulder like a Michelin star chef ruling his domain with complete serenity and control.

Like clockwork, she fell asleep in my arms, and as I put the baby down for a nap, I quietly closed the door and pumped my fists in the air.

What efficiency! What effectiveness! A masterclass in multitasking!

And suddenly, the whole morning seemed spread before me in uninterrupted work bliss. Alrighty business goals… I’m coming for you next!

Eagerly, I sat in my work chair, set the background music to the perfect volume, and opened all the screens and tabs and calendars and checklists.

I. Was. Unstoppable.

Just as I plunged into my first goal of the day, I heard a faint cry on the baby monitor.

“Surely, she’ll go right back to sleep…” I thought. “I did everything right!”

But she got louder. And so as I peeked in her room, her eyes were wide open as the first day of school.

She was nowhere near going back to sleep.

And that’s when cracks began to show in the perfect vision of the perfect day of being a perfect dad and business owner.

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For the next several hours, I tried everything. I really did.

Reading books, playing songs, feeding, burping, changing, and putting her down again… and again… and again….

But as hours passed, nothing worked.

I even brought her into my office to play on the ground as I struggled to get a few things done, but it turns out babies come to this world with opinions about a wide variety of topics… including my work life.

As I was running back and forth with bottles, diapers, and chirping and buzzing toys filling my arms, I glanced at my watch, and noticed the day was gone.

My work goals fell completely apart, and my triumphant vision of a perfect day faded further and further into oblivion. Just like that neatly folded towel over my shoulder, now lost to the abyss.

What efficiency! What effectiveness! A masterclass in multitasking!

When my wife came home, she returned to a big baby — exhausted, exasperated, and inconsolable… with a little baby girl lying next to him, giggling.

“I can’t do this,” I conceded. “I can watch a baby and I can get work done, but I can’t do BOTH.”

And for the rest of the week, we had a nanny come who handled our baby girl like a dream.

I could get my work done, and peace was restored to the realm. Oh hey! That’s where that towel went!

But more importantly, I learned a hard lesson.

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(Photo: I will look at you THIS suspiciously if you don’t ask for help. Why do they make passive aggressive sheep pillows?)

How often do we think we can do it all? And how often do we learn and relearn that sometimes we need to ask for help?

Like my unrealistic vision of subduing my work and family goals with the efficiency and devastation of a Chuck Norris chop, what stories are you telling yourself that are creating more friction than fruit?

Take off the cape. Ask for help. And simplify your focus to what only YOU can do.

Because when you clarify and delegate… you might find that showing up for your goals, priorities, and relationships really can be as easy as a baby sleeping in your arms.

Just ask our little girl.

Christian

CHRISTIAN HANSEN has gone behind the scenes in some of the biggest organizations in the world to find out the reasons why some people get chosen and why others don’t. As the #1 bestselling and LinkedIn Top Ten ranked author of “The Influence Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting People to Choose You” Christian helps teams and organizations who want to stand out and be the obvious choice. With degrees from Brigham Young University and The London School of Economics, he’s helped thousands of individuals position and sell themselves. A fan of international communication, history, and choral music, he currently lives in Utah with his family. Reach him at: TheChristianHansen.com