Two Out of Fifty
Jul 30, 2026
Have you ever walked away from a networking conversation feeling like… you did all the work?
You asked the questions. You showed interest. You focused on them?
And the other person? They talked about themselves the entire time.
That happened to me recently at a conference. But what I discovered has changed the way I show up at every networking event since.
Here’s how it began.
I was surrounded by some of the best communicators on the planet. Coaches. Speakers. Leaders. Consultants. People whose entire careers depend on their ability to connect with others.
And so as it was my first time to the event, I decided to run a small experiment.
My goal was simple: in every conversation I had with someone new, I’d ask at least three sincere, meaningful follow-up questions about them.
Not the automatic “what do you do?”
The deeper ones. “What got you into that?” “What’s the hardest part?” “What are you working on next?”
Would these world-class communicators do the same?
The first conversation went exactly how I expected.
I asked what they did. They told me. They asked what I did. I told them.
Then, without missing a beat, they launched into talking about themselves.
“Oh yes, well, I actually do that too…”
“Oh, I’ve done it for X number of years…”
“That’s interesting you mention that, because I’ve always…”
Not once did that person turn the conversation back to me.
So I kept asking questions about them. And they kept talking.
I had roughly 50 conversations that weekend.
Guess how many people asked me a real follow-up question… beyond the automatic “and what do you do?”
Two.
Two out of fifty.
In a room filled with world-class communicators.
Now, here’s the part that stopped me.
Those two conversations? They were different.
Those two people asked about my methodology. My examples. What surprised me about the work. They were genuinely curious.
And I walked away from those two conversations remembering their faces. Their names. What they cared about.
The other 48?
I couldn’t tell you a single thing about them if you paid me. Even though I was asking the questions.
Which brings me to you.
(Photo: it doesn’t take much to stand out)
Most of us walk into a networking event asking “What should I say?”
We rehearse our elevator pitch. We polish our answers. We prepare for the questions we might get asked. And then we wonder why nobody remembers us.
So what if we are asking ourselves the wrong question?
Here’s what I’ve come to believe:
In a world where almost no one asks sincere follow-up questions… the act of asking them is nearly revolutionary.
It’s the rarest form of attention there is.
So the next time you’re at a conference, a networking event, a client meeting, or a dinner party… don’t ask yourself, “What should I say?”
Ask yourself, “What should I ASK?”
Then ask three more times than you think you should.
That’s how you’ll be one of the two people in the room that anyone remembers.
Christian
CHRISTIAN HANSEN has gone behind the scenes in some of the biggest organizations in the world to find out the reasons why some people get chosen and why others don’t. As the #1 bestselling and LinkedIn Top Ten ranked author of “The Influence Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting People to Choose You” Christian helps teams and organizations who want to stand out and be the obvious choice. With degrees from Brigham Young University and The London School of Economics, he’s helped thousands of individuals position and sell themselves. A fan of international communication, history, and choral music, he currently lives in Utah with his family. Reach him at: TheChristianHansen.com
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